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I seriously don’t know how to react to this kind of attention.

Normally, I would come up to at least one of them, and maybe ask them out, but the culture here is so different that I do not know what’s allowed and what’s not.

Before the game has even started the odds are against thirty-one year old Kelly from Portsmouth.

Since her market value is high at home she thinks it’s just as high in Thailand. A western woman arriving in Thailand is like a brand new BMW leaving the showroom: a quarter of its value disappears immediately into the ether.

Purely by virtue of the fact that she lives here she’s dropped several rungs on the ladder.

The pool of men she has to choose from is much smaller than it is at home.

So I just return their smiles and go on with my life.

At around 7pm (yes,we were at school from 5am until 8pm) other teachers and I went outside to eat.

We wondered how this whole dating thing works here. While sitting on the floor, in front of the Buddha image, I noticed the Boy, the Thai God and the PE Teacher all staring at me.

Unfortunately, they are so shy that they only could express their admiration for me when they were drunk during our New Year’s party.

One of them, 23-year old Boy, courted me throughout the whole time, being a true gentleman, the second one – who I call the Thai God (as he really is a good looking man) – danced with me and chatted me up, and the third one – the PE Teacher told me he loved me and then ran away to his table, hiding behind his colleague (mind you, he is around 30 years old).

We sat on the stairs when the Thai God passed us by and smiled at me. I didn’t know what to say to that, but then thought ‘oh what the hell!

‘OOh’ said my Boss, raising his eyebrows ‘new boyfriend? ’ and admitted that, indeed, I really liked the boy. You need to know someone, who knows someone, and ask them to say something nice about you to whoever you like and then behave like you are in high school again.

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First, a disclaimer: the essay you’re about to read makes many generalisations, and there are of course exceptions to every point, but I write what I write based on what I have observed since moving here several years ago.

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